I Am Not Who You Think I Am: The Role of Appraisal in Responses to Non‐Verifying Feedback

ABSTRACT In organizational settings, individuals often encounter feedback that conflicts with their self‐views. While identity theory traditionally characterizes such non‐verifying feedback as threatening, some research suggests these experiences can foster growth. We integrate identity control theory with cognitive appraisal theory to explain these contradictory findings, proposing that non‐verifying feedback's impact depends on how it is appraised—as either an identity threat or opportunity. Through a mixed‐methods experience sampling study with female leaders in engineering firms, we found that appraisal processes significantly influenced affective outcomes. Identity threats were associated with increased negative emotions and decreased positive emotions, while identity opportunities showed the opposite pattern. For identity threats, core self‐evaluations moderated these relationships, buffering against negative evening moods among high‐CSE participants. Our qualitative analysis identified seven distinct cues that trigger recognition of non‐verifying feedback. These findings enhance our understanding of identity construction processes in organizations, particularly for women navigating role incongruity in male‐dominated professions, while offering practical insights for constructive feedback delivery and reception.