Being liked or not being liked: A study on social‐media exclusion in a preadolescent population

ABSTRACT Introduction Social‐media can contribute to building up adolescents' relationships, but they might also bring negative exclusionary experiences. Being excluded is a subtle yet hurtful form of relational aggression, which affects people's psychological wellbeing, especially during developmental stages. In this study, we (1) analyzed the effects of social‐media exclusion adapting the Ostracism Online paradigm to a cohort of Italian preadolescents ( Mage = 11.47, 53% girls) and (2) tested the efficacy of two potential recovery strategies (i.e., social bonds vs. social surrogate). Method Inclusionary status was manipulated through the number of “likes” participants received on a fictitious online social network. In the exclusion condition, participants received fewer likes than everyone else. In the inclusion condition, participants received a similar number of likes of other users. Then, all participants were asked to think of a significant positive relationship with a family member (social bonds), a celebrity (social surrogate), their present moment thoughts (control). Results Preadolescents who received fewer likes than others reported higher levels of need threat (i.e., belong, self‐esteem, meaningful existence, but not control) and negative emotions. Moreover, the social‐bonds strategy generally brought a faster psychological recovery from social‐media exclusion than the control condition. The efficacy of social‐surrogates strategy was greater for boys than for girls, probably due to different choices in their favorite celebrities. Conclusion These findings show how offline life offers compensatory opportunities for adolescents’ online life. When the lack of “Likes” signal exclusion on social‐media, thinking of an existing social relationship help adolescents to cope with this negative experience.