Flexible sensors are often constructed on polymeric or cellulosic substrates, which tend to compromise breathability for mechanical durability, leading to skin irritation and the limitation of long-term use. Here, we develop a monolithic breathable Ti3C2Tx@Spandex textile sensor that creates a continuous, gas-permeable conductive network for sensitive response transduction. Impregnated MXene nanosheets give 5.1% response to 300 ppm of NH3 with a response time of 14 s under folding deformations, full selectivity against 14 interfering gases, and 4 order of magnitude lower resistance (∼5.7 × 108 Ω) than that of bare Spandex (∼1.5 × 1012 Ω), yielding a signal-to-noise ratio of 20.5 at room temperature. The continuous conductive pathways survive 100% strain, maintain a water-vapor transmission rate of 1149-1268 g m-2 day-1, and resolve joint bending angles via reversible Ti3C2Tx nanosheet slippage. This breathable, skin-conformable patch enables point-of-care screening of both renal-exhaled NH3 and real-time joint kinematics.