Beyond utility: Relational conflicts in human–AI relationships

Human-AI relationships are increasingly marked by emotional depth, intimacy, and social expectations. While interpersonal conflicts are common in human-human relationships, they remain underexplored in human-AI contexts. Drawing on the social penetration theory, this paper examines conflicts between humans and social AIs such as Replika, Character.ai, and ChatGPT. We conducted a questionnaire study with 94 participants in close, friendship-like, or romantic relationships with social AI. Participants described at least one conflict episode, yielding 155 conflicts. Through thematic analysis of open-ended responses, we identified conflict topics, triggers, and emotional reactions. Findings show that conflicts extend beyond technical issues, arising across emotional, relational, opinion-based, role-play, and task-oriented interactions. Three main triggers emerged: (1) relational-emotional disconnect, breaches of trust, jealousy, boundary violations, or perceived hostility; (2) technical-communication failures, unhelpful output, or external disruptions; and (3) value-based clashes of opinion or belief. Conflicts varied in duration: some brief, others lasting hours or days. Participants reported strong emotions including anger, frustration, sadness, and confusion, while also perceiving their AI companions as expressing emotions such as jealousy, sadness, or defensiveness. Crucially, AI responses shaped conflict trajectories: apologetic or empathic replies often de-escalated tensions, whereas dismissive or accusatory responses intensified them. This study highlights the coconstructed and reciprocal nature of conflict in human-AI relationships. It advances understanding of how conflicts emerge with social AI, offering implications for theory and for the ethical design of emotionally responsive AI companions.