During the pandemic, students from elite Chinese universities (Project 985), facing failure or unemployment, began labelling themselves as 985 waste . Scholars debate whether it signals rebellion against meritocracy or merely a stage of youth socialisation. I analysed 449 online posts by self-identified 985 waste , examining their identity negotiation through self-reference, predication, and argumentative topoi. The findings complicate those views. While referential patterns show growing awareness of structural inequality, meritocratic values remain internalised. Predication analysis highlights intense self-criticism and psychological distress, challenging its dismissal as mere youth socialisation. Yet their narratives feature self-repair or hope for self-repair, signalling resilience over defeatism and reconciliation over revolt. Topos analysis reveals a dominant sense of internalised failure, and also resistance via external blame, non-meritocratic values, and redefined success. These disidentification strategies reclaim agency without rejecting the system. 985 waste are caught between disillusionment and aspiration within a system they neither fully trust nor fully reject.