"Delete it and Move On": Digital Management of Shared Sexual Content after a Breakup

Sexting is a common and healthy behavior in romantic and sexual relationships. However, not every relationship lasts. When a relationship ends, the fate of sexual content that was previously shared can be a source of discomfort, anxiety, or fear for individuals who may no longer trust their former partners. In extreme cases, intimate content may be leaked or misused by its recipient. To investigate opportunities for building safer sexting tools with breakups in mind, we conducted a survey with 310 U.S. adults who have sexted in the last year. We asked about their sexting practices, communication practices within their relationship about sexting, and preferences for their own sexting content after a breakup. We find that most people save sexts in some form, either actively (e.g., via screenshots) or passively (e.g., in chat history). There is no consensus around what one should do with an ex's content: although most (55%) want their content to be deleted at the end of a relationship, many others don't care (25%) or even hope their ex keeps the material (11%). However, most have never spoken to their partner about this preference. We end with design recommendations that support sexting while keeping the entire relationship lifecycle in mind.