Purpose Despite extensive research on building information modelling (BIM) project collaboration, prior studies have focused on traditional performance metrics, qualitative methods and formal mechanisms, leaving a gap in understanding how relational attitudes drive collaborative innovation performance. This paper aims to explore how relational attitudes (RAs) exert impacts on collaborative innovation performance (CIP) in Chinese BIM project teams. Based on the relational exchange and information processing theories, a moderated mediating model is proposed to explore the mediating role of knowledge spillover (KS) and the moderation of cognitive diversity (CD). Design/methodology/approach To gather data, this study conducted a questionnaire-based survey and collected 295 valid responses. The data were analysed using partial least squares structural equation modelling to test the proposed hypotheses. Findings Notably, RAs positively influence CIP. Furthermore, KS performs a significant mediating role between RAs and CIP. Additionally, the indirect effect of RAs on CIP via KS is moderated by CD, highlighting the role of team diversity in enhancing knowledge exchange and innovation in BIM projects. Originality/value Unlike previous studies that focus primarily on traditional project performance metrics, this paper concentrates on the impact of RAs on CIP from the perspective of relational exchange theory. Moreover, it significantly expands the concept of KS within the context of intelligent buildings, positioning BIM as a virtual technology platform for collaboration and innovation. The study also discusses the influence of inter-organisational team RAs and their determining factors on CIP through BIM application, based on the role of CD.